go clubbing

i am not 19 and turning 20 in october and i have nerer once gone clubbing, i havent event steped into a club so my goal for the next month or two is to go out and get that done. i want to go clubbing have a blast and just have the experiance. i dont care where i go of who i go with as long as i make a point to actully do it and dance till my legs cant go any more then dance som more. i always here my friends talking about how fun it is and how offten they do it and they allways ask me to come but for some reson i just chicken out every time so next time they ask next time i will make sure to go make sure to change my schedule around so that we will be able to go and then i will make sure to have fun and not care about anything but dancing my heart out. and who knows i may cross of a few of my other items from my buketlest. so here is to clubbing lets hope it happens and hope its not a total bust.

Bucket list

1. ride an elephant
2. find the one
3. go to africa
4. travle
5. work at an elephant sanctuary
6.  make a differents in somone life
7. fly in an airplane
8. find a best friend for life
9. see the sevean wonders of the world
10. have relations with a foran man
11. raise a child
12. own all the diseny movies i can
13. get in to a fight
14. rock climb
15. remeber a line(funny line) from a movie
16. date a black man (see if roomers are true)
17. get drunk
18. go clubbing
19. rescue an animal
20. jumgy jump
21.  caving
22. go on a tresute hunt
23. own a motercycle
24. drive a big rig
25. join mile high
26. ski
27. be on a tv show
28. modle
29. whin a pagent
30. laugh so hard i have stumik pains for a day
31. get  a degree
32. have land
33. try a food i would never think of trying
34. act in a play
35.  make a porn viedo
36. act in any movie
37. meet marky mark
38. find the perfict dress
39. have a closet just for my soes
40. learn to pole dace
41. use the pole dancing lessons
42. brake a bone
43. lean a really cool magic trick
44. be rich enough to have a made
45. have my own family
46. crash a wedding
47. do it in a public place a run like hell if i get cought
48. get out of a ticket with my charm
49. give out my number to random hot guys when im single
50. make an epic pramk and preform it
51. kiss daniel hopfinger/ childhood crush

stalking

today in class we were told to stalk people told to discribe one person from all the trats we came up with so here gos. when you first look at the women i discribed the first thing you notice would be her determend walk with a little bounce in her step . then after you watch her for a moment you see the confedent expression living her face when she rounds a corner and sees somone she knows the confedent expression dissapeared and jelousey,irritation, and anger takes its place. her walk starts to crumble the once cofedent step that she used to have the walk that said im all that and a bag of chips disolved, its now replaced with a walk that says i just new shoes and there killing my feet and i have no idea how to walk in them. she meetes the man she soposably knows and then turns to the wonam next to him. she has a look on her face of pure jellouse but there is something more there. a small amount of a look that says oh great i have to act like i like you event though i want to rip your face off right now. also you can see a hint of something eles something that mite say, "want to be my friend? No, then stop f-ing staring."

today in class we were told to stalk people told to discribe one person from all the trats we came up with so here gos. the woman i came up with was a women when you first look at her you notice her determend walk with a little bounce in her step . then after you watch her for a moment you see the confedent expression living her face when she rounds a corner and sees somone she knows the confedence is replaced with jelousey,irritation, and anger. her walk starts to crumble the once cofedent step that she used to have the walk that said im all that and a bag of chips is gone, its now replaced with a walk that says i just new shoes and there killing my feet and i have no idea how to walk in them. she meetes the man she soposably knows and then turns to the wonam next to him. she has a look on her face of pure jellouse but there is something more there. a small amount of a look that says oh great i have to act like i like you event though i want to rip your face off right now. also there is a hint of something eles something that mite say, "want to be my friend, No, then stop f-ing staring."

the place i want to be

the place i would love to be morthant anything would be at the elephant sanctuarry in africa that started it all the sanctuaary that made me love elehants. i have never been there but i imagan it would be wonder ful warm enough for me to just wear short shorts and tank tops all day, warm enough that there wouldnt be one seconed of the day where i got a cold chill. i assume it would also be dry witch is not my ideal cliite i hate when  my skin feeels all cracly from it being so dry but, there would be dosens of elephants sourounnding me dosens of one of the worlds largest anilam standing right next to me close enough to tougch and then i woud i would be introdused to the elephant that i would be in my life for the next few years till it was healthy enough to be re admitted into the wild. i would be sone the single elephant that will make or break me in that moment the animal will dicide if im worthy to step in as a care taking if i have what it takes to protect it no matter what and in that momnet i will be ready to show his why i would.

final blog...For class

when i first was given the assignment to start a blog and then blog for 32 day straight i was sceptical. i  have never had a blog before an had no idea where to start. the first week was a trial week and then after that we stared an assignment where we needed to blog for 232 days straight and that was, interesting i didn't get the 32 day in i blog as much as i could and i wish i could have gotten the time in for all the blogs maybe ill try it again in the summer but, event though i didn't get every blog done i still got to do a lot and it was great. i had a lot of fun designing my blog and it was a great place to just vent. i have a lot of stress that gos on in my every day life so, i like to vent but, i don't exactly have a best friend and my boyfriend and parents are getting a little annoyed by me always venting to them so the blog was a nice place to just talk. my blog was a safe place that i could rant about the things that bother me and not worry about what i say because there is no one that i know following my blog. also, it was nice to just get some of the things out of my head. i see myself using the blog event after this class because i think it helped me in more ways then one it helped me to be able to come up with better sentences faster and helped me to just write and not think about the way things are spelled. that was one thing that i liked and didn't like. i liked that fact that when i would compose a post i could just write to my hearts content and not stop. i liked that i could go though a sentence and not see a little read line under every word making me want to stop and fix it, i believe that that helped me a lot to keep my flow in my writing. i know that when i am in word just writing for fun or and assignment that i get cough up on fixing my mistakes and then lose that sentence that i was wanting to put down and that messes with the flow of the writing. on my blog i didn't have to worry about that till late, but that's also what i didn't like. when i was finished with my post and i had went for the spell check there were places that just didn't make sense, the sentence would sound that great and with my horrible gramer problems i couldn't really fix it they way it needed so, i think i would have liked it more if i could have really been able to fix the gramer like it helps you on word but, that's more my fault then the blogs. another thing i didn't like was the comment spot. i was ok with it till a moment that i didn't know took form one of my blogs and commented on it. she read my blog and made assumptions about my like and my relationships and then was kinda rood and butted in where i didn't wont any one to but in. i was happy with the way my blog went and i am glad that i got the chance to make a blog. i believe that now i can have a better writing experience with a blog then just traditional writing papers. i have always hated the formality of a paper because my ideas don't really set well with a structured paper but a blog helps me to have a place where i can just write what ever  feel like and not worry that my creativity is getting lost with in the format of the formal paper. i think the blog assiment was a great assgiment for our class and i would be glad to do it again in hopes that the next time i can write every day and see what it would be like. i believe that out of this assignment i have gotten a lot of great ways to express my thoughts in a way that i cant really do with structured assignments and i also fell that it has helped me to gain fluency and be more consistent in my thoughts. i am very grad that i was able to do this assment and i hope to keep blogging till long after the class is over.

much needed time

as you may know me and my boyfriend are both in college and both have jobs. we both work at the same place but i work more, due to the fact that he has his team and practices that interferer with our hours. so like you may think between school and work and home work and practice and the hour between us we haven't gotten to see much of each other. this may be due to more than just the factor i have stated but, that's still to be determined. so because of the factors i have mentioned and other factors such as when i try to set up times there all ways seems to be something in the way, let it be him or me, or I'm not willing to all ways be the one to have to trade shifts, we haven't had much time which can mess with a relationship. so the last time we hung out, witch was lunch between classes, it was a little rocky. when i got my schedule this last week a knew that i needed to be the one that made the time because for what ever reason he wasn't going to be the one to do it. so i saw he had Friday of so i traded my shifts around so that  we were both off a prayed that he wouldnt say he had plans or had a meet or that it would be to slick out. thankfully the fates promoted us to hang out! so we planed to go to Fridays which was interesting, but like i thought the conversation was just not like it used to be? i had a nice time, but that's all not like we used to, not the great times we used to have. this makes me angry and sad one because I'm not sure what has gone wrong and also because i don't know how to fix it and also because it seems to be like I'm either the only one feeling this way or the only one that cares. i know you must be thinking oh this is horrible its because hes a crappy boyfriend of because he doesn't care or hes a jerk or something along thoughts lines but, he is a good guy hes sweet and funny and cute and he is a gentlemen and hes not up tight but not a loser. hes like me in a lot of ways but not like me in a lot of ways he is the kinda boy that you can just be comfortable with no matter what. and i care about him dearly and he makes me happy when I'm with him, but lately it has been different we have gone on dates and kinda sat in a rut and when i try to do new things its nice but i can still feel the rut. for example, around v day we went out and i wanted to do something different something that wasn't dinner and a movie like normal. we had thrown around ideas and i thought i made it clear that i wanted him to come up with something other then me coming up with it again but, i guess he didn't get the memo and he came thinking i had the idea so we used are fall back and went to dinner and a movie. now i tryed to change it up a little by us going to a new place down town witch was nice. i had a good time we went ou,t the place was a little crowded but it was a nice change we goofed up on the saving are receipt for the movie but we saw warm body's and had a lot of fun. during dinner we laughed and told story's about are week and such, had a nice time like we used to and during the movie we cuddled and it was great. after the date i was very happy and though hey that rut is gone, we just need more time to hang out but, the next day came and are text were back to almost the same chatting and such but it seemed like we are just doing it because we feel we had to, the kinda text where sometimes u feel relived that you have the break of work so u don't have to try to think of small conversation starters to keep the talking going.then the next date came. the lunch date. Zach has a class that got canceled and he wondered if i wanted to get some lunch with him witch i was soooo happy to see i wasn't going to have to be the only one trying to fine time this week; which isn't every week like u may think by the way i have been dogging on him, so we meet and i drive to a Chinese place he said he loves, he directed me and everything. we sat and ate and just like are texts it was small talk conversations that would last till the next bite. like he dose most the time he was on his phone talking to friends. we chatted about who he was talking to and the funny prank him and his friends were playing then ate and finally when we were done we got in the car and headed back to school. on the way back though, he was playing on his phone and missed telling me when to tune. now I'm a loud person, all the time, so to me yelling is pretty much my talking but to others they see it as im just yelling at them, including my boyfriend, i also like to joke around by being mean, you would think a boyfriend of a year and a half would know that but no, so i "yelled" and said something along the lines of, thank you,you made me miss the turn. my boyfriend then got all offended and turned to the window and put his head in his phone like a child, which he dose a lot, this made me kinda mad but its hard for me to be actually mad at him so i was more irritated. it was probably because i have been really tired of the way we have been kinda "off" lately and how him always being on his phone doesn't help, but whatever it was,yes i was a little annoyed. so the way back i really dint say much and he went on like nothing happened. then he stared to tell me, you need to get in this lane like i hadn't know where i was going event though i was the one that had to figure out how to get back and I'm the one how knows directions a lot better then he dose but,he started telling me what lane to get in and then told me i needed to slow down because there are normally cops around those parts. this was kinda a slap in the face because we were in my town around my school witch i drive to every day and well, I'm not stupid i know how to drive and i know where the police force in more prevalent. so, i said something along the lines of, i know how to drive, then he said, oh well you yelled at me before about me missing the turn and got all mad at me, then i said i didn't yell and he went on to say that i did and that he knew i was mad this hole time because he knows me and knows when I'm mad and i was giving a mad look wile driving and so on. i just shut up because i knew i would blow up if i didn't because frankly he pissed me off. one because he stated that he knew me and the fact that he thought i was really angry and that i "yelled" at him proved that he didn't and i was already on edge about everything else so i decided to just stay quiet and drive. we got to his school and while sitting in the parking lot got into a small argument over the issue. this time he stated that he knew me again and that he didn't appreciate me yelling and i told him that i didn't and he gave me the definition of yelling, as in elevating your voice, which also made irritated me but when all was said and done i ended it with saying that i hadn't yelled and that he would know if i really had, implying that  wasn't event close to how i yell, then i finished with saying i prob needed to go so i wasn't late for work. he agreed and said I'll see u at work tomorrow i love you and then tryed to kiss me. this is the way things have been going. we chat,as in we don't have real conversations just filler conversations,we have small arguments and then act like we are ok and nothing happened all the wile I'm getting sadder and sadder. its stating to become more and more like my last relationship and i don't want that again. i know that I'm to balm as well that i should talk to him more about this but the few times i do it seems like noting happens or we don't agree on something and then it strats an argument again and then its pointless because we are right back to were we stared, and also he seems to be perfectly fine or pretend like he is, and with that I'm not sure if it is just him pretending or if he dose think things are fine and its just me or if he just doesn't care? this all leads me right back to where i began, saying that we need to find more time. i think what it comes down to is, i love him,which technically means i feel for him so much that i have no other word for it and i feel what i have been thought is love for him, i know that he is some one i could see a future with and i know that the relationship he have is one i want to work fo,r one i just don't want to end but i know that if i feel this way I'm not giving him all of me and he is a good guy that deserves more. so what it comes down to is this, we need to make more time together so that one, we can talk about things and see if it is something we are both feeling and if so, if we are willing to both work at it, and then we need time to test the water seeing if it can work if we can get back to the fun we had. i see the fun still, it shines though on every date but its just not there enough and i know that we both need to work at it and talk to each other about things so that that fun can come back full time so, time is much needed in every aspect, because i am willing to take the time to make sure i have the rest of my life with him and I'm sure he is to.if that makes any scene at all.so, here is to making time.

slickery

i have been driving for a total of four years not counting my permit and in all of thoughts years i have never been as nervous about driving as i was tonight. let me give u a little back story. in my years of driving i have had to drive one, to and from school,to and from work, to places of interest, to and from reed springs to Springfield;multiple times and most at night on not much sleep,i have driven to and from KC, in all its a lot of driving and a lot of places where i could have had horrible accidents and what not and gotten tickets and such but, in all of the four years i have had one finder bender and one ticket, both i have just gotten recently. when looking at this most would think wow good driving record. i feel the same I'm a good driver despite what the stupid cop how said i didn't stop at a stop sing i have been stopping at for 5 years or the cop that didn't event really ask me what happened in the accident when i was the one driving, but lately i have felt like a bad driver. i mean i know I'm not the best driver in the world but i think I'm pretty good and lately with the ticks i have been getting I'm not feeling so hot. so, now i feel more nervous when i drive i do the same things i have always done but now I'm just nervous all the time and let others drive when they offer. tonight me and my boyfriend went out on a date, one that was much needed and that u can hear about in another blog i have yet to post, but he offered to drive in a manner that really meant i don't want to drive but its the nice thing to offer wile we are standing in front of you mother. so i drove it had been snowing all day, just little flurry's and nothing major but just enough to keep the roads wet. by the time we left my house i had gotten cold enough and had been snowing long enough to make the roads just a bit of a concern. so i sat out in my car wondering if i should drive with or without four wheel drive i decided agents it and said if it seemed slick i would pull over and turn my four wheel on but, the roads were great not slippery at all, that is till be got to the road just before Fridays that's a windy mess. as soon a we pulled on to the street i knew something was going to happen so i sat up straighter and made sure to concentrate more. sure enough i felt the car slide just a little i informed my boyfriend of it and as soon as i did the car slid to the side i turned the wheel in the other direction and it slide to that side fast then i taped the breaks and straighted the wheel. and bam. I was golden we got straighted out and i drove on and parked. in those few seconds when we were sliding we could have slide right through the grassy nole into the highway traffic if i hadn't had my head on my shoulders and stayed calm. after i parked i got out smiled and said I'm one hell of a driver. now some may be thinking oh u never turn agents the pull oh u never break,but i this situation if i would have done that if i would have freaked and let the wheel go we would have slid right into the highway traffic and the worst could have happened so i say to you officers that took one look at me and decided i was a stupid girl that doesn't know how to drive safe and all ways wants to drive fast and doesn't care about anyones safety i say to you......bull. i say u get put into the situation i was tonight and see if all your talk and training about the way to handle your self when sliding keeps you alive or if you get killed because what payed off for me tonight was my ability to be a great driver when it really comes down to it when not only my life but another life is hanging in the balance of me improvising and feeling what i need to do to gain control over the car again, I'm a beast.

I Feel.....
i feel sick. today i woke up and felt like poo. last night i had work and i was ok till closer to the end of the night, when i started to get worse. i have felt a little scrach in my thoght for about a week or two before toady and then last night it just got crazy i was caughing every five min becuse i felt like there was a bug in my thoughs trying to clib up and out but it just wpould move. then i whent to sleep and had a great night sllep i slept like a baby but when i woke up i felt like i had been hit by  cement truck. i finaly got out of bed and found out that i couldnt talk when i tryed to let my sister know my car was in the garage. after i got bck from taking her to school i fell back asleep in hopes of felling better
I Think......
i think its crazy the way people care so much about there look i mean i undrstand that you have to look presentable for certan things like interviews and meeting and such but, just going to class i see girls in the hall every day that seem to have 6pounds of make up on to hide there real face of have short shorts or dresses and super high heels just to go to what two or three classes a day. whaen did we get so bad i mean today event though i feel horble and didnt want to do anything today i still put make up on because i wanted to one up a girl that is in my class that allways says she has to dress in nice close to look good. i dont know when we got so bad but things need to change or we are all going to lose areselfs
I Believe.....
i belive in all the funny carachers like santa and the easter bunny and the tooth fariy. i belive that yes they may not be mistical creachers but every day there are santas in the world. i mean when christmas comes around and you get all excited and run out to get gifts for your family and stand for hours in lines just to get that perfict figt for that perficvt somone you are being a santa to whoever that is. now some of use are santas that only care about ourselfs and would shove people out of the way for the last i pod but, there are thouse great santas the santas that we are todl to believe in when we are children the santas that i willing to spend more time helping somone eles thing helping thems selfs the santas that would go on and give the last i pod to the little kid that saved his money for a year hjust to try to get the black friday sale i pod.
I Know........
i know that we are all here for a reason i know that some people know exactly what they are here for i know that they sit and think of what it is that hey should do with there likfe what god or whoever they believe in want them do do with there life and just like that it comes to them like an epefany. but for me i dont know i dont know what my perpose is i hope i can find it but is of right now im just trying to get by i wasnt to help people and make a deffrents do something that peopel willl remember me for but otherthan that i have no idea what im here for why i was put here.

woody

I got to pick woody from the box of promps and the first thing that come sto mind the the fact that i have a major adiction to childrons shows. dysney pixsar all of it there my favorite. i work at a movie theater so like you would guess i get asked a lot what my favorite movie is and everyone laughs when they hear that its the lion king. the lion king is my facvorite movie because well i love exotic animals and theats what the lion king has in it the most and there is a great deal of singing and just reat animation it make me happy every time i watch it and its a movie that i could watch 15 times in a row and not care to watch it one more time. but thats kind of the way i am with a lot of childrens movies. i know that the movie is made for a audiance tht is much younger then i am but i see no problem with going to a movie that you know you will enjoy a move that you know that after you leave you will leav with a great feeeling. there have beeen so many kids movies in my life that have just made my day better if im having a hard day i take the time to watch a cute kids movie like tangled or toystory and i get to a happer mood. im ok with having an adiction to kids movies becuse its not one that really hurts me not only are the movies cute and make me in a good mood they also send a good message i mean like agfter watching tangled i was so happy and excited and  it wasnt till later that i really saw how it helped me i was happy and excited and becuase in tangled the prencess never gave up on her dream of seeing the lights she finaly made something happen and left the tower. this is something that really helped me to get a little further with my dream.

Amarican key chain

this key chain that just droped into my lap what dose it make me think feel do? its a read white and blue key chain that brings Amarica to mide and brings the forth of july. the fourth of july is one of my favorite holidays becuse, first it is in the celibration of our freedom. we get to have big have big partys with maving food and sweet music and a extreem amount of fireworks and boos. not most of you would think OH NO fireworks and boos dont mix but, they always seem to find eachother some how witch makes the night just that much mor intresting for me. the last forth of july i remeber was when we had gone to my sister Sarhas house and  ate some barbiqu and shot off fire  works. i remember sitting in the front lawn watching her nebiors go crazy with fireworks running around lighting one after the othere and as the rocketed to the sky the heads of all the friends and family around me shot up in  aw tward the sky. then someone dicided to bring out the achohal. this turned into and intresting affare becuse it turned the fun experiance of watching the guys run around lighting the wicks of the fireworks and running to a humerpouse event of wat

broken plans

me and my boyfriend were supposed to go out last night we had the whole day off from work and me from school so it would have been perfect, but it didn't happen. he had a meet and i understand he couldn't control that but I'm having a very hard time believing that he had no idea before hand when the race was expected to end. I'm just thinking that if he did know that he could have told me so i could have traded and worked Friday and got all of Monday off. I'm also a little hurt and confused, our schedules haven't been that great lately because of me working all the time us both having school his practices, and the fact that our jobs will not event come close to letting us work together or event have the same shift. so its been hard to find time but it seems like when i ask hey i dont work after school today do you maybe want to get something to eat before your practice and he will say i dont have a brake, which i know he dose because he will tell me about when he gos and dose things with his friends on those brakes, but i seems like he is blowing me off a lot or maybe he isn't and he really has no time but ether way it seems to me like I'M trying to find the time and trading MY shifts around so we can have some time but he isn't he isn't trying to make a little time in between studying like i am, hes not trying to see every second that there could be time we can see each other. i mean I'm not the kinda person that wants to be around him 24/7 but i am the person that would like to see him more then 3 times a month. i guess what I'm saying is I'm not ok with doing all the work to try and find time to hang out and I'm tired of most the times we plan to hang out we cant because something comes up.i guess i will see if we get to keep are plans Monday and how that gos but if we cant something has to change.

believe in my self

  A time that i believed in my self well that would prob have to be the beginning of my freshmen year. i wasn't the best at school in elementary and middle so in high school everyone expected me to do the same, be the same D student i had been but, i kicked it in to gear and believed in myself believed that i could do it and i graduated high school with a gpa of 3.0. when everyone didn't believe i could i believed In myself and kicked ass. i think that's all you need to when your trying to achieve a goal. i know that in the beginning my goal was not to sit and get a 3.0 in high school, but i do know that going in to high school i told my self i was going to be different i was going to be better. that's exactly what i did. in elementary and middle school i sat and didn't care what happened with my grade i just did whatever and when i would get called to the office or my mother would have to come in because of a bad grade i didn't give a rats butt. in high school it all changed i knew that i wanted to be someone different, i needed to be someone different for my mothers sake and for the sake of my future. so i started out paying more action being more involved in the conversations in class and when i came home with my fist quarter grades., no one believed it. no one believed that we had done a lot in class like i said we had , no one believed that i would stay  keep this up, keep my grades like this till event the semester. i did believe i believed in myself and that helped me to push on its what kept me wanting to show everyone that i could i could be just a smart ans my brothers and sisters i could have just as great grads as them and i could be that student that others ask for help.  me having that confidence that belief in myself i did all of it i change my life. i believe that all you need is a dream a gaol and the courage to go after it the strength to fight for the future you want and u can do anything.

what if ....

• i was to die
• the night was day and day waxs night
• dogs were not friends
• we were all vegetarians
• we all were the same
• everyone loved one another
• all the stupid people were out of the world
• we didn't have cars
• no electricity
• i was stuck in the desert
• if i was in wild on y own
• i had no Friends
• i had a mental problem
• i didn't have a job
•  i didn't have a family
• i didn't have the money to further my education
• i was born in a different country
• in i had a sibling die
• my mother dies
•  i get married
• have kids
•  I cant have kids
• what if i get divorced
• the man i want to be my husband didn't want to be mine
• i didn't graduate
• i cant find a good career
•  i wasn't afraid of anything
• i was a super hero
• i was skinner
•  taller
• shorter
•  fatter
•  happier
• nicer
•  more loving
• a better friend
•  a better sister
• a mean er person
•  not easily pusher around
•  i new a different religion
• had a different name
• i hadn't had my first time with the person i did
•  i was afraid of water
•  elephants didn't interest me
• i didn't have a brain
• i Had a terminal condition
• i knew when i was going to die
•  i knew if there was really a god or not
•  if i could see the future
•  i could fly

what if i wasnt intrested in elepohants????????

what if i wasn't interested in elephant? if i wasn't interested in elephant i wouldn't have a goal in life. i wouldn't have wanted to do good in college, i wouldn't have wanted to start college., and i wouldn't be where i am now.if i didn't have a goal in life for my future i wouldn't have a future, so many thing fall together once you have a dream, a goal, a place to go, a thing to do. if i never knew what to do with my life i would sit and be a slob and probably with my mother my whole life witch could potently mess up my plans of getting married and having a family. if i was a slob i wouldn't have been motivated to get up and get a job and therefor i could have the amazing experiences i have had in my life with that if i hadn't got my ass of the couch and if i hadn't had a dream i wouldn't be any one i would be a no body that no one remember just another face in the crowed just another name on a head stone when  I'm gone. and yet again another dream of mine would be crushed if. if i dint have a goal let it be working with elephant or event getting out of bed i wouldn't be the person i an today i would be me i would be Gabrielle but i would be the Gabby everyone knows me to be today i would be the sister the friend the girlfriend the student or event the human i am today. i believe that i would be a very unmotivated up friendly person not the outgoing person i know myself to be today i would  be a sorry excuse for a human and quite frankly i would probably not what to live. therefore i believe that having favorite thing having a goal in life having something to work toward we all would be dead we all would be miserable and life would have no purpose.so never lose your dream never let some one tell you they are pointless or ridicules because your dreams are just another thing that makes you who you are.

if i was the richest person in the world

if i was the richest person in the world, i would hope that i could be a cool person. i would hope i would still be me but, i know that money changes us, money makes us who we are in a sense, if i was to be rich i would be more confident i would have more things at my disposal, such as, more clothing higher education a faster car and that can change everything having more clothes i could have become more interested in them and became more of the girly girl,the i want to shop every day type. having more money for food i could have gotten super fat. just i my normal life now when i get a bonus or an extra buck i spend most of the money on food so i know if i had an unlimited amount of money i would be fat but then i could also be fit because i could have the money to make sure i was getting healthy and exercising. also if i did become the richest person in the world i feel like i would have to be working a lot i mean you don't normally have money fall into your lap so i would have to work or if it did fall in to my lap being the richest person comes with responsibly and fame. if i was rich i know i would have to have interviews and people watching me and my money every day witch would also change my life because, just think of the things that we do when we think no one is looking, think of the way we act with are parents in our homes when we know are Friends wont see, think of what you say about people when you think they wont ever hear it, then think what would happen to those moment if in all of those situations some one was lurking in the corner in the bush wherever just to catch you mess up. everything would change you wouldn't be you. i also hope that if i was rich i would help others, i would give money to people and animals in need. i would be the caring person that gives most therepaycheck to a charity but, reality is i may not. i would hope that i would use my money to go to places were people are suffering and maybe help just a little by trying to get them something be it medicine or just a hand to hold. but, I'm not famous and I'm pretty sure there are going to be like only two ways i could be famous so, the dreams of being rich are out the window for me but, that just means i get to be me and means made i can still help people event though i may not be able to give them gobs of money, i can still give them a hand to hold or a shoulder to lean on.

CIS

my first class of the day on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays is CIS a great computer class with a great teacher. the class starts at ten and every day i try to get there on time, and for the first week it worked but the more classes we had the more times I'm late. so today i got up and showered after i dropped my sister off so i would be good to go. then i layed down till nine, but really it was nine fifteen, i thought i had made sure to set an alarm but, no i jumped out of bed a rushed to get dressed sped over here and tried to find a good spot. i got in my seat at about nine fifty eight and, what did we do today work on the project that i had finished yesterday. that would be my luck come on time and i don't event need to be in class. that's how the day is going so i say to you day, bring it because I'm up and ready for you now.

setting up friends

yesterday i went on a nice bowling date with my boyfriend and a few of are friends, two of witch  we were trying to set up. now i mean set up in a good way as trying to introduce them so maybe they would date in the future. the night was great we went bowling and then we went out to eat every thing seemed to be going great at the bowling ally and they seemed to be hitting it off great but when my friend got in the car to ride to get dinner, when i asked her what she thought she didn't say if she liked him or not she just said," we he is....". i felling in the blank with something like," Awkward?" she then said, " well i guess kinda but hes like a loud awkward." the night went on and after i brought her home i wanted to see if she liked him or not so i ask again, "so what do you think about him?" she said," well umm......hes cool he just kept referring to my height witch you know i don't like, and he messed with me was to much, she said that it would have been cute is he had done it once or twice but the amount he did it was just annoying. then when talking to my other friend he said that he really liked her and though she was super cute and funny and its up to her if they go out. i want them to work out because they are what the other needs. but first imprecision's are everything, and event though my male friend was just acting the way he dose when he is nervous and would be a total gentlemen on the second date, my female friend is quick to judge so my praying she takes a leap of fate and takes that second date. i guess you cant make every thing the way you want, because in my head the way i saw it going down was they both had a great time got another date and started a relationship, so that me my boyfriend and them could go out together and have fun. i guess one of the situations where the song,:" you cant always get what you want." comes in to play.

blue bunny

well lossing wight is out of the question now. becuse i finaly broke down a got so blue bunny peanut butter panic. i sure was in a panic when i realized i eat half the quart in 30 min. thal about a brain freez. i know that i shou be dieting im ganing more weight then i want but they make it so hard. with all the different flavors of goodness there is no way. i mean the resses bits and the chocolate and peanut butter suase. i mean it maake my mouth water just thinking about it. well i guess i got to add it to my addition list. along with almost any kind of milk chocolate, shoes, zachary kellner,like 8 tv shoes... the list gos on.

Addiction!

it all started over christmass brake. with all the extra time i had i got hooked.i got hooked on a ton of tv shows. first it was vampire diarys, now im not that kind of girl im not into the hole vampire thing so it was a very big shock to me, but that damond is a looker. then a few random shows and now im watching emily owens md, vamp.diarys,hart of dixy, and carrie diarys???? plus going to school and work and trying to make time for my friends and boyfriend. i dont know what it is when your hooked your hooked but hey at least it means i have something to do if i ever get free time!

Rain Rain go away

i started the day of with a bang. i woke up early, witch is crazy for me but becuse i was up early and the wather was suposed to be warm i said, ok lets wear that adorable dress i just got and try to look good so thats just what i did. the day was going great then, just before my last class was over it started porring and lightning. most people would find this to be a day ruend bu it was great to me. i love the rain every bit of it is wonderful and so, i walked right outside and took it all in. rain its a funny thing it makes so many things better it helps everything grow. humans pray for rain when it hasnt for a wile, but when it done they go running, curse it event why not love it i mean unlike the cold, or the heat of summer or the crazy allergy seson for spring rain last foe a short time. yes sometimes its fallowed by storms and sometimes they can be very very bad. but incent warm rain, there is no need to not enjoy it. so, i challange you to try the next time it rains, now be smart about this if its a freezing rain were you could get sick or if it lightning or somthing dangerouse dont but, the next time it rains a warm rain nomatter how hard try to take it. dance in the rain let it it your face have fun with it. look around and see all the geat things rain brings, notice that every thing looks sparcly an new, notice the way event though the sky is gray the rain still looks clear an beautiful.just in to puddles make a day of it. finaly try and find as many people as you can looking at you like you crazy,becuse i promise you that there will be plenty but most of all have fun.

New Member in the Family

My sister Rose has finally had her baby. after waiting for ever for the REAL due date finally she had her. sadly she had to have a c-section but i guess it doesn't matter,just as long as little girl is here right. My most my family went down to see the baby, im not sure how i feel about the baby. me and Rose used to be close had a lot of fun u know but stuff happened we changed and we are not that close any more and frankly i used to think the world of her. think she was a great role model but now i am at the point were i think, wow i rally must have been out of my mind to think she was a good role model. i and excited about a new addition to the family but also, there is an issues with with stuff and me believing her and a lot of my family acting like its no big deal and, well i just am disappointed because shes not the person she used to be i mean SO much of her has changed and some of it i know why but i guess its all due to the fact that i want things to be back to the way they used to be. but, i know that wont happen because she has changed, i have changed and are family has changed. so in the end im sad that i not as excited about the new addition as i think i should be but also im very excited to meet the new baby and i hope she becomes a great little girl and i hope we get to be in each others lives a lot because i love my niece's and nephew's!

Rose and little V